You know those people who wait in the bitter cold or scorching heat just to catch a glimpse of their favourite Bollywood movie star in the flesh at a movie premiere or event? The ones who obsess about the release of a new movie like it’s an all-important all-encompassing pursuit that takes up all their time and energy? Those who can mouth off dialogues from nearly every movie even before the actor utters them?
If you happen to fall into any or all of the above categories then chances are that you have been afflicted by a fun new condition called Bolly-Mania!
Bollywood fanatics live through the colourful, dramatic and musical world of Hindi movies. While some of them are able to keep their love for all things Bollywood under control and only let it loose in front of other like-minded Bolly-maniacs. There are others who believe that life is one massive Bollywood production and immerse themselves by completely embracing their fanaticism. If you happen to be an out and out Bollywood devotee or just a slightly crazed fan, chances are you have imagined what would happen if you use some Bollywood speeches in your everyday life. In a bid to indulge that fantasy we present 10 Bollywood speeches that would be nothing short of epic if they could be used in real life.
You’ve just landed your dream job, got engaged or something equally life-changing has just happened. You share the news with your dad and he says:
“Mogambo, Khush Hua”
It’s been a legendary night of drinking and partying. You’ve been hitting the bottle hard and it eventually catches up to you in the form of a head splitting earth-shattering hangover. You call your BFF to get some greasy cheesy pizza and BEER because if university taught you anything it was that it’s a guaranteed hangover cure. Your bestie is concerned about your drinking and is about to impart their usual discourse on the ill effects of alcohol on the body when you break the tension with:
“Kaun kambakht bardaasht karne ko peeta hai ... hum toh peete hai ki yahan par baith sake, tumhe dekh sake, tumhe bardaasht kar sake.”
It’s been a long and tiring day. You come home to find that your annoying sibling has polished off your favorite snack, has made a mess of your shared room that you just cleaned and is sprawled on the couch dictating what you watch on the telly. In a fit of rage you scream at them:
"Kutte, kameene, main tera khoon pee jaoonga."
What started as a discussion on something you are deeply passionate about has turned into a massive argument with your friends. You all have strong opinions and no one wants to budge from their point of view. The mood is about to become rather somber so you decide to inject some humor into the situation by saying:
“Kuch kuch hota hain, tum nahi samjhoge”
Someone is harassing your girl. You’ve been pumping iron at the gym and are rather impressed with your own muscles. You take this opportunity to show them off while employing some Bollywood style threat tactics:
“Yeh dhai kilo ka haath jab kisi pe padta hai toh who uththa nahi uth jaata hai!”
Your boyfriend and you have just had a big fight. He has apologised again and again but you are not in a forgiving mood. In a bid to score some brownie points with you he compliments you on the way you look. You give it back with a sassy:
“Main paida hi hot hui thi”
You’re headed out and your makeup, hair, clothes, shoes and everything else is totally on point. You turn back around and give yourself a mega boost of confidence:
To the mirror -
“How dare you? Tumhara koi haq nahi banta….ki tum itni khoobsurat lago….Not Fair!”
When you just need to be hopeful about life in general or are practising that acceptance speech for future recognition as the best in whatever you do:
“Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho to puri kainath usse tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai.”
When you want to stand up to your tyrant boss or are really worked up that the government is doing nothing for its people and feel like its time to take matters into your own hands:
"Don’t underestimate the power of a common man."
Your friends summon you in the middle of the night sounding utterly hysterical. You rush out to meet them only to find out they’ve been cooking up an insane plan to take off in the middle of the night for a holiday and you’re being ‘kidnapped’ for it. You can’t believe this is happening but also can’t help but ask:
“Kya tum mantally challenged ho, mai bwoy?”
Now that we've given you the perfect pieces of dialogue, all that is left is for you to create the situations to use them in!